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    March 10

    我的心好痛,好痛

    冰冷的3月,昨天的天空降下了30厘米厚的雪,一层层压在树梢上,车上,路面上……
    一片的苍茫,一片的惨白,一片的死寂
     
    心,很痛很痛
    心痛的不只是外公在艰难地与病魔抗战
    还有外婆,电话的那一头,是她嘶哑的声音,她说,已经好几天没睡了
     
    很想此刻能回到中国,站在外公的床边,跟他说,公公,捷捷,回来了,坚持住,等病好了就接你回家
    但无奈的,我所能做的,只是,每晚睡觉前,为外公默默祈祷
    即使我想见见外公,也只能靠以前的照片让我回忆
     
    记得小时候,我最爱就是外公做的牛肉河粉,每次当外公先把一锅端出来,再到厨房回来的时候,早就被我们消灭的一干二
    那时外婆在深圳打工,很久才回广州一趟
    每个星期,外公最憧憬的,就是我们一班孙子孙女回他家,热热闹闹
    但随着我们慢慢长大,回去的次数也随之减少
    外公经常对外婆抱怨说,我们都不回去,很怀念以前我们还没长大的日子
     
    2006年我决定要到加拿大读书,出发的那天,他们一早来送我机
    那时,外公的记忆力已经出现衰退,经常问,捷捷要去哪里?外婆说,加拿大啊!外婆抱怨,说一个早上,外公已经问了10多遍
    外公经常惦挂着我,每次喝茶的时候,都问我妈妈我在哪,要不要给我留点东西
    公公,我很想很想再和你去喝早茶,很想很想吃你的汤粉,很想很想像小时候淘气时拍拍你的光头
     
    上天,求求你,让外公不要再受折磨
    我们都很清楚心衰竭,肾衰竭,肺衰竭意味着什么
    他一个这么慈祥的老人家,为什么就要受到这种折磨呢?
    妈妈说,外公很憔悴,这几天都处在半昏迷状态
    我很恨自己,为什么不能在广州?偏偏要在加拿大
    一来,我很想让您坚持到我回广州,但另一方面,我很心痛让您受这么多的苦
     
    我只想,再看看您
     
    我们爱你,真的,很爱你

    Comments (3)

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    Wen Christywrote:
    如果可以的话,立刻回去吧.
    但是如果一定要留低,也不要太怪责自己啦,生老病死本来就是自然的.我想他会明白的.
    Mar. 12
    愿外公早日康复,一切都会好起来的!坚强!!!
    Mar. 11
    Wen Christywrote:
    你会立即回去吗?
    Mar. 11

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